Do you ever feel like no matter how much money you save, real financial security always feels just out of reach? Well, I’ve got news for you—financial freedom doesn’t start with dollars and cents. It starts with emotional wealth. Once I realized that, everything began to change. Let me take you on a journey to understand why emotional wealth is the real hidden key to financial security and how you can unlock it in your own life—starting today.
In the past I was a shopaholic. I was drowning in credit card debt, buying everything I could get my hands on. I bought beautiful clothes, luxury bags, fancy dinners. My idea of financial security was so clouded by emotional spending that I wasn’t making progress. I was just accumulating more stuff and more financial stress. But one day, I reached a breaking point when my paycheck only paid back my overdraft line of credit, bringing me to zero. I had to figure out why I kept overspending on autopilot.
That’s when I discovered my top emotional needs: to be cherished and to be free and independent. Ironically, in an unconscious attempt to fulfill my need to be cherished by shopping, I was creating more credit card debt. This made it impossible to satisfy my need to be free and independent as I became ever more dependent upon my job. What I really needed wasn’t another designer purse. I needed to feel loved and valued for who I was. And, I needed a sense of freedom—from debt that kept me tied to a job I didn’t love and from the stuff I kept accumulating.
Step One: Identify Your Emotional Needs
The real secret to emotional wealth is understanding your needs. Once I realized that my spending was trying to meet the emotional need of being cherished, I found healthier ways to feel loved—like nurturing my relationships, investing in a house cleaner, and signing up for a pottery class.
This is why I encourage all my clients to start by taking the free Emotional Index Quiz—a simple, yet powerful tool that helps you discover your core emotional needs. If you want to stop the cycle of emotional spending and truly start building financial security, you must first understand what drives your choices.
Step Two: Create Emotional Wealth Before Financial Wealth
One of my clients, Elowen, was constantly buying gifts for friends and family, hoping that giving more would make her feel more valued. Instead, it just drained her financially. Together, we worked on shifting her mindset. Elowen learned that her real emotional need was for deep connection. Once she started making time for heart-to-heart conversations and setting healthy boundaries, the need to buy love disappeared.
Emotional wealth isn’t about what you give away to others, but about what you nurture within yourself. When you fulfill your emotional needs in meaningful ways, you become less reliant on material things to make you happy. This shift creates the space for real
financial security to grow naturally. You no longer feel the impulse to splurge or impress—because you’re already fulfilled.
Step Three: Develop a Positive Financial Mindset
Emotional wealth also requires a positive financial mindset. Often, our relationship with money mirrors our self-worth. If you don’t see yourself as deserving of abundance, you’ll subconsciously sabotage your own financial growth. One of my favorite techniques for boosting your financial mindset is detailed in my book, Coach Yourself to Success. It’s about aligning your inner values with your financial goals so that you effortlessly attract what you desire.
Think of it this way: If you’re emotionally thriving, you’ll radiate confidence, and opportunities will naturally come to you. The same is true for financial security. Start small—each time you pay a bill, remind yourself that you’re taking care of your financial future.
Step Four: Plug the Emotional Leaks
Sometimes, the key to building financial security is stopping where the energy leaks out. Emotional wealth means taking a hard look at where you’re giving too much and getting too little in return. Maybe it’s saying yes to every family request for money, even when it strains your own finances. Or maybe it’s that glossy magazine you subscribe to thinking that somehow it will change your life.
One client, Mark, used to loan money to friends without expecting anything in return. He felt guilty saying no, and as a result, he was never able to save. Together, we worked on establishing stronger boundaries. Mark learned to cherish himself enough to say no when necessary, to protect his financial and emotional well-being. Emotional wealth means learning to stop those leaks and redirect that energy toward building your financial security.
Step Five: Build a Financial Freedom Plan
Emotional wealth and financial freedom go hand in hand. Once you start feeling emotionally secure, the next step is to turn that confidence into a financial plan. If you’re ready to learn how to retire early and be financially free without slaving away at a job you dislike, I’d highly recommend checking out my Financial Independence, Retire Early (FIRE) Course. It’s a step-by-step guide to putting yourself on the fast track to financial security.
Step Six: Automate Savings for Emotional Peace
One of the most liberating steps I took toward financial freedom was automating my savings and then letting them run. You can let inertia work for you in this case, because once it’s set up, you are likely to leave it be. Automating your savings is a powerful action that not only builds financial security but also fosters emotional peace.
Step Seven: Practice Gratitude to Increase Emotional Wealth
Finally, emotional wealth grows when you cultivate gratitude. When you’re grateful for what you already have, you feel less compelled to fill your life with things you don’t need. Every evening, I write down a few things I’m grateful for. Gratitude changes your focus from lack to abundance, and that is when financial security really takes root.
Step Eight: Write Your Vision for Emotional and Financial Freedom
One of the most powerful things you can do is to write down your vision for what emotional and financial freedom looks like for you. Picture yourself debt-free, living without financial stress, and feeling fulfilled. What does your ideal day look like? Who are you surrounded by? Write it down in vivid detail.
This exercise isn’t just about imagining the future—it’s about putting a stake in the ground for what you truly want. When I did this myself, it changed my entire outlook. I went from feeling stuck in my financial life to having a clear goal that I could work toward, which made every little step forward so much more rewarding. As you write, remember that financial security starts with clarity about your emotional needs and your aspirations. Take 10 minutes today and put your vision into words and/or pictures. Then revisit it weekly as you work towards building your emotional wealth.
Step Nine: Visualize Your Financial Freedom
Take a moment to close your eyes and visualize what your life will be like when you are emotionally and financially free. Imagine waking up each morning without the burden of financial stress—knowing you have reserves set aside creates the feeling of financial security. There is nothing like a bit of cash in the bank to alleviate stress.
Picture yourself paying your bills with ease, having time to nurture relationships, and feeling deeply fulfilled without needing to buy anything extra to fill a void. Feel the weight lifting off your shoulders as you are no longer in debt. Instead, you have a secure savings cushion that lets you make choices that bring joy.
It’s a funny thing, but when I was in debt, I found it hard to imagine life with savings and security, but once you have that cash reserve, you’ll never want to be without it again. So it might just take getting that 3-6 months of living expenses salted away before you’ll understand what I’m talking about.
Visualization is a powerful tool that rewires your brain for success. Spend just 5 minutes each day visualizing yourself living your most financially and emotionally abundant life.
Success Stories: Emotional Wealth in Action
Here are just a few ways that focusing on emotional wealth has helped my clients achieve financial security: Elowen stopped buying gifts to gain validation and found true connections in her relationships, allowing her to save $500 a month and finally feel free.
Mark learned to cherish himself enough to say no to friends who were draining his finances, enabling him to build a six-month savings reserve for emergencies. Jennifer automated her savings and began practicing gratitude daily. This transformed her from living paycheck to paycheck to having the confidence to start investing for her future.
Each of these clients started with small changes. You can, too!
You Are Not Alone
I know that taking control of your emotional wealth and financial security can feel overwhelming. We live in a society that constantly tells us that buying more will make us happier, and it’s easy to feel stuck in that mindset. But let me remind you—you are not alone. Many of us have been in the same position, feeling powerless over our finances or weighed down by emotional needs that we didn’t fully understand.
The most important thing you can do is to take one small step today. Whether that’s taking the Emotional Index Quiz to better understand your needs, writing your vision statement, or setting up an automatic savings plan, every step is a move towards financial freedom.
You have the power to create a life filled with both emotional wealth and financial security. I’ve seen it happen for my clients time and again, and I know it’s possible for you, too.
Believe in Your Power to Change
Every journey to financial freedom begins with the belief that you are capable of change. Remember, emotional wealth is the foundation of true financial security. With each small action, you’re creating a life where you are free from financial stress and on the path to real financial freedom. It isn’t enough to have bags of money (although that certainly helps!). You won’t feel truly wealthy without the emotional wealth behind it.
Let today be the first day of the rest of your financially free, emotionally abundant life!
Ready to Discover Your Emotional Needs? Take my Emotional Index Quiz today and uncover the true motivations behind your financial decisions. Knowing your needs is the first step to breaking unhealthy spending habits and cultivating real, lasting happiness.
Ready to Create Financial Freedom? Don’t wait another day to start building the life of your dreams. Join my Financial Independence, Retire Early (FIRE) Course and put your finances on autopilot so that you can live freely and independently—without the stress of paycheck-to-paycheck living. The time to act is now!
