Have you ever wondered why the Law of Attraction isn’t working, even though you’re doing everything “right”? I certainly did earlier this year. I offered on four different homes after my divorce. Every single one fell through, despite the fact that I was the highest bidder each time.
At first, I couldn’t understand it. I began questioning whether I was somehow blocked, whether I was unconsciously sabotaging myself, or whether life simply had other plans. Looking back now, I’m incredibly grateful those four offers failed because they forced me to ask a much more important question. Was I trying to create the life I truly wanted, or was I holding onto a life that no longer existed?
For years I’ve coached people on the Law of Attraction and the importance of creating a clear vision for the future. One of the first exercises I ask clients to complete is writing out their ideal life in vivid detail. Not just the career they want or the income they’d like to earn, but how they want to spend their days, where they want to live. Who they want to spend time with, how they want to feel. When you become crystal clear about your ideal life, the decisions you make become much easier because you have something meaningful to measure them against.
Ironically, I had forgotten to do exactly that myself.
Like many people after a major life change, I found myself making decisions based on the past instead of the future. In my mind, I was searching for a traditional family home. I imagined enough bedrooms for my two daughters, space for the dog and the cat. A house that reflected the family life I’d enjoyed for many years. Every property I offered on seemed perfect, yet somehow each one slipped away. One sale collapsed, another seller changed their mind, another accepted a different offer, and before long I had experienced four disappointments in a row.
It wasn’t until I sat down with my journal and revisited my own ideal life exercise that I realised something surprising. My daughters are no longer little girls. One has recently graduated from university, the other has decided not to attend university for now. Both have homes of their own, at least for the foreseeable future. The picture I had been holding onto belonged to a different chapter of my life. I wasn’t consciously choosing it because it reflected my future. I was choosing it because it reflected my past.
Once I recognised that, everything shifted. I asked myself a different question. Instead of asking, “What kind of house should I buy?” I asked, “What kind of life do I want to create over the next ten years?” The answer came surprisingly quickly. Ever since I was eighteen years old, I’ve dreamed of travelling the world. Raising a family was one of the greatest joys of my life, but it also meant putting many of those travel dreams on hold. Now, for the first time in decades, I have the freedom to explore, to experience new places. To enjoy this next stage of my life while I still have the health and energy to do so.
Suddenly, my list of priorities looked completely different. I no longer needed a large family house with rooms that would sit empty most of the year. What I really wanted was a beautiful, manageable home in a wonderful location, somewhere close to the sea. A home where I could lock the door, travel easily, and return to a place that felt peaceful and welcoming. I also wanted enough space for my daughters whenever they came to visit, along with a home that welcomed my dog and cat.
Almost immediately, I found exactly that. I’m now in the process of buying a beautiful three-bedroom flat just a five-minute walk from the beach. It has its own private garden, welcomes pets, and sits in exactly the neighbourhood I had hoped to live in.
Initially, I hesitated because I had always imagined owning another house. Flats simply weren’t part of my vision. Then I looked back at the list I’d written describing my ideal life and realised something remarkable. This new home ticked every single box. Every one; it even has a working fireplace with a wood burner already installed. The only thing it didn’t match was the outdated picture I had been carrying around in my mind.
That experience reminded me that one of the biggest reasons why the Law of Attraction isn’t working isn’t because the universe has stopped listening. More often, it’s because our subconscious is trying to protect us from creating a life that no longer fits who we are.
Our subconscious mind is incredibly powerful. It stores our beliefs, our habits, our identity, and our expectations about what is possible. If there is a conflict between what we consciously say we want and what we subconsciously believe, the subconscious almost always wins. That’s why so many people experience self-sabotage without realising it.
I see this frequently in my coaching practice. A client may tell me she wants to earn significantly more money. But underneath that goal is a deeply held belief that wealthy people are selfish or that success comes at the expense of family life. Another client desperately wants a loving relationship but quietly fears rejection or believes they are somehow unworthy of lasting love. Someone else dreams of starting a business but secretly worries about criticism or failure. Consciously, they are moving towards their goal, while subconsciously they are applying the brakes.
The first step is becoming aware of those hidden beliefs. If you’ve been wondering why the law of attraction isn’t working, this is often the place to begin. Hidden beliefs can shape your choices without you ever realising they’re there.
One of the easiest ways to uncover them is through journaling. Write down exactly what you want and then ask yourself, “What worries me about having this?” Keep writing until you surprise yourself. Often the answers reveal fears you didn’t even know were there. You might discover that you’re afraid of responsibility, worried about disappointing people. You may be concerned that success will change your relationships. Awareness doesn’t solve everything overnight, but it does shine a light on the patterns that may have been quietly directing your decisions for years.
That’s why I always encourage clients to begin with their ideal life rather than a specific goal. Don’t start by asking how much money you want to earn or what job title you’d like to have. Instead, imagine waking up five years from now. Where do you live? What does your morning look like? Who do you spend your time with? How much freedom do you have? What kind of work fills your days? What hobbies, travel, friendships, and family experiences are part of your life?
When you build a vivid picture of your ideal life first, your goals naturally begin to align with it. Instead of chasing opportunities simply because they seem impressive, you begin choosing the ones that genuinely support the life you’re trying to create. For many people, this simple shift explains why the law of attraction isn’t working. It’s not that they’re asking for the wrong things, but that their goals no longer match the life they genuinely want to create.
In The Secret Laws of Attraction, I explain that clarity is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. The clearer your vision becomes, the easier it is to recognise opportunities that truly belong in your life and to let go of those that don’t. Sometimes what looks like rejection is actually redirection. Sometimes a closed door isn’t a punishment but protection.
Looking back now, I don’t wish any of those earlier house offers had succeeded. If they had, I might have ended up maintaining a home designed for a life I had already outgrown. Instead, I found a home that reflects the exciting new chapter ahead of me. A chapter filled with greater freedom, more travel, and the chance to embrace dreams that have been patiently waiting for their turn.
So if you’ve been asking yourself why the Law of Attraction isn’t working, perhaps it’s worth considering a different possibility. Maybe you aren’t being blocked at all. Maybe life is gently encouraging you to let go of an old vision so you can create one that’s better suited to the person you’re becoming.
If you’d like to explore this process more deeply, I invite you to consider the Coach Yourself to Success course online. Or, read The Secret Laws of Attraction, where I share many of the exercises and coaching principles that have helped thousands of people create happier, more fulfilling lives. I also encourage you to take some quiet time this week and write out your own ideal life in as much detail as possible. You may be surprised to discover that what you truly want today is very different from what you thought you wanted yesterday.
And that realization may be the key to attracting everything you’ve been searching for.
