Have you ever noticed that life has a funny way of giving you exactly what you ask for, but not always in the way you expected? A lot of people come to me because they want more. More clients, more income, more opportunity. They’ve read about the Law of Attraction and understand that having a clear vision, staying positive, and taking action can change the direction of their lives. And they’re right. The Law of Attraction really does work.
But what many people don’t expect is what happens after things start falling into place. After more than twenty-five years of coaching, I’ve seen the same pattern time and time again. People rarely struggle because there isn’t enough opportunity. More often, they struggle because there are suddenly too many.
Their diary fills with meetings, new clients, speaking invitations, collaborations, networking events, and requests for help. Before long, they’re so busy saying yes to everything that they’ve recreated the very lifestyle they were trying to escape.
That’s why I believe one of the hidden lessons of the Law of Attraction is this: It’s not enough to attract more opportunities; you need to attract the right ones.
If you’ve read my previous article, How to Start Living Your Ideal Life: Are You Ready to Receive? you’ll remember we talked about creating space so your ideal life has room to arrive. This is the next step. Once the opportunities begin appearing, how do you decide which ones deserve a place in your life?
A client of mine taught me this lesson better than anyone. David owned a successful financial planning business. He genuinely cared about his clients, gave practical advice, and built strong relationships. Naturally, people recommended him to their friends and family.
When we first started working together, his goal was simple: attract more clients. We worked on clarifying the kind of business he wanted, improving his visibility, and creating systems that encouraged referrals.
About six months later, David walked into my office looking both thrilled and completely exhausted. Before I even asked how things were going, he laughed and said, “Be careful what you wish for.” His business had grown much faster than either of us expected. New referrals were arriving every week. Accountants wanted referral partnerships. Community groups invited him to speak. Professional associations asked him to join committees. Friends wanted advice, introductions, and coffee meetings.
Every opportunity sounded worthwhile. And because David was generous by nature, saying no wasn’t easy.
As we talked, it became obvious what had happened. He’d achieved his goal of attracting more opportunities, but he’d never stopped to ask whether they were the right ones.
That conversation completely changed the direction of our coaching. Instead of focusing on attracting more, we focused on becoming more selective. There’s a big difference. One creates activity. The other creates a life you actually enjoy living.
Many people measure success by how full their calendar is or how many people want their time. But some of the happiest and most fulfilled people I’ve met have learned a different lesson. They understand that every opportunity comes with a cost. Every time you say yes to one thing, you’re automatically saying no to something else.
That “something else” might be dinner with your family. It might be an evening walk with your partner. It might be the book you’ve always wanted to write, the business you’ve dreamed of starting, or simply an afternoon with no plans at all.
One exercise I’ve found incredibly valuable is creating what I call an Ideal Client Profile. Set aside half an hour somewhere quiet. Make yourself a coffee or tea and think about the three clients you’ve enjoyed working with the most. Not necessarily the ones who paid the highest fees, but the people you genuinely looked forward to hearing from.
Now write down everything they have in common. What values do they share? What type of work do they ask you to do? How do they make decisions? What makes working with them enjoyable?
Before long, you’ll notice a clear pattern emerging. That becomes your Ideal Client Profile. From then on, every new enquiry can be measured against it. If someone is a great fit, you can confidently say yes. And if they’re not, you can refer them to someone who’s better suited to help.
At first, this can feel uncomfortable. Many business owners worry they’re turning work away. But in my experience, the opposite usually happens. The clearer you become about who you want to work with, the easier it becomes to attract exactly those people.
Your marketing becomes more focused. Referrals become more relevant. And your work becomes far more enjoyable because you’re spending your time with people you genuinely love helping.
If your calendar feels fuller than you’d like right now, it might be worth taking a fresh look at everything you’ve committed to. Ask yourself whether each commitment still reflects the person you’re becoming and the life you’re trying to build.
The Law of Attraction is incredibly powerful. But its purpose isn’t to fill every available hour. Its purpose is to help you build a life that feels rich, meaningful, and deeply satisfying. And that only happens when you stop trying to attract every opportunity and start attracting the right ones.
If you’d like to explore these ideas further, you’ll find many more practical exercises and coaching strategies in The Secret Laws of Attraction.
And if you’re ready to put these ideas into practice, my Coach Yourself to Success online course walks you through the same tools and exercises I’ve used with coaching clients for more than twenty-five years.
