This is the second blog in a two-part series on meeting your emotional needs. If you missed part one, check it out here.
Finding out what your unique emotional needs are is a process that takes time and effort. However, it can be incredibly rewarding and can help you lead a happier and more fulfilling life. Once you’ve identified your own emotional needs, the next step is to ask friends and family to satisfy those needs. For example, let’s take a very common need, the need to be appreciated.
What can you do to satisfy the emotional need to be appreciated?
1. Communicate your need: Once you know what your emotional needs are, communicate them to your friends and family in a clear and direct way. You can say something like, “I really need to feel appreciated and valued. Can you please show me that you appreciate me and the things I do?”
2. Be specific: Be specific about what you need from your friends and family in order to feel appreciated. For example, you might say something like, “It would mean a lot to me if you could take the time to say thank you when I do something for you.” Or you could say, “Can you please tell me why you appreciate me and what I do for you?” You might give a good friend a stack of eight pre-addressed, stamped postcards. Then, ask your friend to send one card a week for the next eight weeks with a note of appreciation. Sounds corny, but it works!
3. Experiment: Be open to feedback from your friends and family about how they can meet your need to be appreciated. They may have their own ideas or suggestions about how they can show you that they appreciate you. Try asking different people to do different things and see what works best for you.
4. Be willing to receive: You may discover that you’ve been subconsciously blocking people from meeting your needs. Instead, open your heart to receive and accept their appreciation and kind words. It feels wonderful!
5. Say thank you: Once someone has said something appreciative, take a moment to say, “Thanks, I feel really appreciated by that.” This reinforces the fact that this is your need and is a simple way to let people know what your needs are without directly asking or reminding them. Most people are very happy to meet another’s needs once they know what you want them to do.
Asking friends and family to meet your need to be appreciated is a matter of being clear and direct about what you need and being willing to gratefully accept and receive the appreciation they give.
How could you meet the need to be loved and cherished?
One way to meet the need to be cherished is to surround yourself with people who love and care about you. Building and maintaining healthy, loving relationships can help you feel cherished and valued. In addition, practicing self-care and self-compassion can also help you feel cherished. This could include setting aside time for self-reflection and self-care activities (i.e., exercise, meditate). By taking excellent care of yourself and building strong relationships with others, you can work towards meeting your need to be cherished.
What if you have the need to be in control? Is there a way to satisfy that need without hurting others?
One way to meet the need to be in control without hurting others is to focus on areas of your life where you do have control. Do not try to control others or situations that are outside of your control. Focus on taking control of your own thoughts, emotions, and actions. This can involve setting goals, making plans, and taking steps to achieve those goals in a way that is respectful and considerate of others. By focusing on your own actions and behaviors, you can work towards meeting the need for control without causing harm to others.
It helps to have specific domains in the household that are yours to control. My husband has claimed the cars as his domain. So, he is in charge of making all car-related decisions, including which cars to purchase. I’m happy to let him take this domain because I’m not that bothered about cars. I also let him have the TV remote!
How does the law of attraction relate to our personal and emotional needs?
The law of attraction is the belief that people can attract positive or negative experiences into their lives through their thoughts and emotions. Some people believe that if they focus on positive thoughts and emotions, they can attract positive experiences, like fulfilling personal and emotional needs. Similarly, if they focus on negative thoughts and emotions, they can attract negative experiences. This is because like attracts like. What we focus on tends to expand.
Getting your needs met is essential to feeling good about yourself and attracting the best people and opportunities.
We have developed quizzes, books, and courses to help you raise your emotional intelligence and meet your emotional needs. There is no reason why you can’t start attracting the people and opportunities you most desire!