Why is love blind in the early stages of a new relationship? As a life coach, I’ve had the privilege of guiding many clients through attracting great relationships. I’ve also personally experienced how love can blur my vision and lead me down some regrettable paths.
Before diving headlong into a new relationship, pause and consider these 7 steps to navigate the journey with more mindfulness. They’ll help you to gain greater clarity in your relationships so you don’t keep repeating the same mistakes.
Step 1: Recognize the Signs
It’s all too easy to get swept up in the heady whirlwind of emotions that accompany a new love. But it’s essential to stay grounded and recognize the signs of blind love.
Ask yourself these questions: Are you making excuses for your partner’s behavior? Do you find yourself overlooking red flags? Are you neglecting your friends? Is your partner isolating you from friends and family? Has he crossed any boundaries? Is he or she inconsistent?
Don’t disregard these signs or dismiss them as minor things. Often it’s the small things at the start of the relationship that offer clues to its long-term success.
Step 2: Understand the Causes
Why does blind love lead us into destructive relationships? There are many possible reasons. Often, the allure of passion is so strong that you don’t want to see the truth. Or, you may be drawn into a relationship from unconscious patterns formed in childhood.
If you notice a negative relationship pattern, you may want to find a good therapist. They can help you break free from self-sabotaging behaviors and get to the source of why you are attracted to the wrong partner. By understanding the root causes of blind love, you can make better choices in matters of the heart.
Step 3: Develop Self-Awareness
Self-reflection is key to breaking free from the shackles of blind love. Take the time to explore your own attachment style, relationship patterns, and emotional triggers. By developing self-awareness, you empower yourself to make more informed choices and forge healthier relationships based on mutual respect and kindness.
Step 4: Take Things Slowly
Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither are good relationships. Resist the urge to rush into things. Instead, take the time to truly get to know your partner. Build a solid foundation based on trust and compatibility. This lays the groundwork for a relationship based on reality rather than fantasy.
Don’t rush into intimacy. Stretch out these heady days for as long as you can. And if the relationship is a good one, you’ll have a longer honeymoon phase to look back on in the future.
Step 5: Seek Outside Perspective
Sometimes, we need a fresh pair of eyes to help us see things clearly. Don’t hesitate to seek advice from trusted friends, family members, or even a professional therapist or life coach. Their outside perspective can offer invaluable insights and support.
It is very common to be blinded by love, but those around you who care about you may see red flags you miss. Make sure you introduce your new love to friends and family and give them a chance to get to know him or her. You might find love is blind, but your friends will be clearer-sighted. Ask them and listen carefully to any concerns they express.
Step 6: Set Bigger Boundaries
Healthy boundaries are essential for any relationship to thrive. Clearly communicate your needs and expectations to your partner, and be prepared to enforce those boundaries if they are not respected. Remember, you deserve to be treated with love and respect at all times. And boundaries are the key to emotional intimacy.
You can’t be intimate with someone if you don’t feel safe. Boundaries enable us to feel safe. Most people confuse boundaries with walls, but actually, it’s the reverse. When we don’t have strong boundaries, we end up having to put up walls to protect ourselves and keep everyone out.
Boundaries are also the key to getting your needs fulfilled. Take a simple example of the need to be appreciated. If you allow people to criticize you, then it is very difficult to feel appreciated. If you have the need to be appreciated, then you need the boundary, “People can’t criticize me.”
Use my 4-Step Communication Model to express your boundaries clearly and gracefully.
Step 7: Prioritize Self-Care
And, last but certainly not least, prioritize yourself. Take time to nurture your well-being. Pursue your hobbies and interests, and surround yourself with friends who uplift and support you.
My teenage daughters both have friends who drop their girlfriends the moment they get caught up in a new relationship, giving all their time to the new boyfriend. Yes, the exciting newness can be absorbing, but save time for your friends to keep those relationships strong. (And remember, those are the friends who will be there for you should this relationship come to an end.)
To sum it up – love may sometimes feel blind, but it doesn’t have to be. Follow these 7 steps and you will see your relationship more clearly and navigate its twists and turns with confidence. Trust in yourself. If something feels off, even a small thing, don’t dismiss it. Ask a good friend or your life coach for her insights.
Resources:
- The Secret Laws of Attraction by Talane Miedaner
- For deeper insights into your personal and emotional needs, values, and boundaries, check out our Raise Your Emotional IQ course
