In the fast-paced world of successful professionals, finding happiness often takes a back seat to the demands of work and family life. It’s easy to find ourselves caught in a perpetual cycle of busyness. We constantly strive to meet deadlines, attend meetings, and manage household responsibilities. But within this chaos lies a profound truth: happiness is not a destination to be reached, but a journey to be embraced. And that journey begins with prioritizing our well-being.
Understanding Happiness:
Happiness is not an elusive state of being, but a by-product of the choices we make for our lives. As a life coach, I’ve worked with clients who, despite their professional success, feel a sense of dissatisfaction. They yearn to do simple things like making pancakes for their kids in the morning instead of dashing off to work. Through our coaching sessions, they’ve come to realize that happiness flourishes when we prioritize what aligns with our values and brings us joy.
One high-powered executive client initially sought my help in navigating the challenges of her demanding new leadership role. However, as our sessions progressed, she realized that her unhappiness didn’t stem from her job. It came from the toll it took on her well-being and family life. Together, we crafted a plan to prioritize self-care, set boundaries at work, and nurture her relationships. Ultimately this plan led her to greater fulfillment and finding happiness. (Contrary to what she expected, by setting boundaries at work, she garnered more respect from her boss and her team.)
Practical Steps for Happiness:
So, how can you prioritize finding happiness amidst hectic work and family schedules? Begin by making a conscious effort to identify and eliminate sources of unhappiness in your life. You might be dealing with a toxic work environment, an unhealthy relationship, or neglecting your self-care. Addressing these issues is the first step towards reclaiming happiness. You might tackle the biggest energy-draining issue first to free up mental space. Or, you might start with the easiest things to change to create immediate positive momentum.
Next, carve out time for activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. It could be as simple as spending time with loved ones, pursuing a hobby, or practicing mindfulness. Prioritizing moments of joy will help to build a sense of gratitude and contentment in your daily life.
The Power of Life Coaching:
As a life coach, I’ve witnessed the transformative power of coaching in helping my clients find happiness. What first may seem like a quest for external validation—a better job, a fulfilling relationship, financial success—is often a journey towards self-discovery and personal growth.
Through personalized coaching sessions, our 1-1 clients gain clarity on their values, needs, and goals. They uncover limiting beliefs and develop strategies to create positive change in their lives. It’s not about chasing happiness, but rather cultivating it from within. This is done by aligning your actions with your values. Many people assume they already know their core values and emotional needs. But this is typically an area where coaching can help create greater clarity. Once you know what your needs and values are it’s easier to make the decisions that lead to finding happiness.
Re-evaluating the Relationship Between Experiences and Happiness:
The idea that experiences contribute more to happiness than material possessions has been a widely discussed topic in the field of positive psychology. A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology supports this.
The study, titled To Do or to Have? That is the Question, examined the relationship between experiential purchases (i.e., travel, dining out, attending events) and material purchases (i.e., clothing, gadgets, furniture) concerning happiness. The researchers found that experiential purchases tend to lead to greater satisfaction compared to material purchases.
However, it’s important to note that there have been debates and criticisms surrounding this research. Some researchers argue that the relationship between experiences and happiness varies depending on individual preferences, cultural factors, and other variables. Additionally, newer studies have suggested that the link between experiential purchases and happiness may not be as straightforward as initially proposed.
One such critique was put forth in a paper titled I Am What I Do, Not What I Have: The Differential Centrality of Experiential and Material Purchases to the Self. The authors proposed that the impact of experiential purchases on happiness might be mediated by the memories associated with the experience.
While the debate continues among researchers, the consensus remains that experiences tend to contribute significantly to overall well-being and life satisfaction.
I for one, really enjoy cuddling up in my big leather armchair and reading a book by the fire. I find comfort in my cozy, decorated surroundings. This makes me very happy because one of my core values is beauty. I like being surrounded by beautiful things and feel unhappy if my surroundings are ugly. You, however, may not share the same value for beauty and would be better off investing in things that enhance your well-being. I also value travel and adventure which means investing in that trip abroad every year also makes sense.
Just do what works for you. And you’ll know what makes you happy when you know specifically what your core values are.
Consideration of Individual Differences:
Furthermore, the notion that experiences are superior to material possessions in finding happiness overlooks the different ways that individuals find joy and fulfillment. For some, material possessions may hold sentimental value or serve as a means of self-expression. This could be a significant factor in their overall happiness.
Cultural and Socioeconomic Factors:
Additionally, cultural and socioeconomic factors play a crucial role in shaping each person’s preferences and perceptions regarding happiness. In societies where material wealth is equated with social status, material possessions may foster happiness more than experiences.
Finally, while experiences play a valuable role in enhancing our overall well-being, the relationship between experiences and happiness is complex. It’s important to recognize the individual differences that influence our perceptions of happiness and fulfillment. By acknowledging the diverse ways in which individuals derive joy from both experiences and material possessions, we can cultivate a more balanced understanding of happiness.
Amidst the bustle of our daily lives, it’s easy to forget that happiness is not a destination but a journey. It is all too easy to postpone big decisions, thinking that “I’ll be happy when X happens.” This is a dangerous trap. Don’t delay or postpone happiness. Prioritize your well-being, nurture your friendships, and align your actions with your values. These are the keys to finding happiness.
Next Steps:
If you’re ready to prioritize your happiness and reclaim control of your life, consider personalized 1:1 coaching. You can explore your goals, uncover any obstacles standing in your way, and develop a personalized life coaching plan to help you thrive.
If you’re looking for inspiration, check out my bestselling book, Coach Yourself to Success, which offers 101 practical tips for creating a happier life. If you prefer do-it-yourself with some guidance, you may find value in the Coach Yourself to Success online course, which offers the tools and strategies needed for finding happiness.
Sources:
- Carter, T. J., & Gilovich, T. (2012). I Am What I Do, Not What I Have: The Differential Centrality of Experiential and Material Purchases to the Self. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 102(6), 1304–1317. doi:10.1037/a0027407.
- Van Boven, L., & Gilovich, T. (2003). To Do or to Have? That is the Question. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 85(6), 1193–1202. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.85.6.1193.
