A new year is here, and with it, a fresh chance to think about the kinds of relationships we want to attract into our lives. And here’s something to remember: you don’t need to find amazing people; you can attract them by becoming the person you want to be. Manifesting love—whether it’s romantic, friendship, or even work connections—starts with aligning your own life so that you naturally draw in the people who make you feel appreciated and happy.
It’s not just about finding a romantic partner; strong, healthy friendships are every bit as essential. Studies show that deep, supportive friendships might be even more important than a spouse when it comes to our health and happiness. After all, friends are there through thick and thin. Research even shows that people with a solid network of friends live longer and healthier lives. So let’s make this the year you attract the love and friendship you desire.
1. Get Clear on What You Want by Knowing Yourself
The first step to attracting meaningful relationships? Get specific. It’s easy to say you want “deeper connections,” but what does that actually mean for you? Do you want friends who are adventurous and fun? Or someone who shares your love for creativity and personal growth? When you’re clear about what you’re looking for, it’s much easier to recognize the right people when they come along.
A great way to start is by taking my Emotional Index Quiz. This simple tool helps you get to know your personal and emotional needs, which are essential to attracting relationships that actually satisfy you.
One of my clients, Sarah, wanted more close friends, not shallow acquaintances. I asked her to pinpoint her core values—fun, adventure and integrity —and start bringing those values into her own life, every day. And guess what? Once Sarah got clear on what she wanted, she took a trip to Italy and made two new friends who share her love of travel and adventure. As you start living your own values, you’ll naturally attract those with similar values.
2. Give What You Hope to Receive
We’ve all heard the phrase, “What goes around, comes around,” and it’s especially true in relationships. If you want a supportive friend, start by being a supportive friend. Want a boss who recognizes your hard work? Start by acknowledging the efforts of others and acknowledge your boss as well. We forget that bosses are people too, and like to get acknowledgment just as much as the next person.
It also works to be more direct in asking for the acknowledgment you seek. You might say to your manager, “Tell me what you liked about the work I did on this project.” Or, “What do you see as my strengths?”
A client of mine, Dave, wanted closer connections at work, but felt his coworkers were distant. I encouraged him to start small by listening more in meetings, giving genuine compliments, and offering help when it was needed. Within a few weeks, Dave noticed a shift—his coworkers started reaching out to him more often. It was a simple shift in focus that made all the difference.
3. Set Boundaries to Create Room for Better Connections
Setting boundaries is one of the best things you can do to attract a higher quality of relationships. Boundaries aren’t about shutting people out or putting up walls; they’re about protecting your energy and showing others how to respect you. When you set boundaries, you’re letting the world know that you deserve respect—and the right people will honor that.
One of my clients, Jennifer, had a friend who constantly drained her energy with complaints and negativity. She was afraid to set boundaries, worried it might come across as unkind. But when we worked on expressing her need for more positive conversations, something amazing happened. Her friend respected her boundary, and Jennifer also started to attract more uplifting people into her life. The shift created space for a supportive new friend who genuinely added value to her life.
4. Deepen the Friendships You Already Have
Sometimes, you don’t need to find new people; you just need to nurture the relationships you already have. Strong friendships aren’t about grand gestures—they’re about consistency, kindness, and small, meaningful acts. So make it a goal this year to put a little extra energy into the friendships that matter most to you.
Try hosting a potluck supper or a crafting night at your place. I’ve found that a potluck, where everyone brings a dish, creates a relaxed vibe where everyone can just be themselves. Or, if you and a friend share a hobby, like knitting or reading, invite them over once a month to work on projects together.
One of my clients, Emily, was struggling to keep her friendships alive as everyone got busier. She decided to host a “First Fridays” game night at her house, where friends could drop by for board games and snacks. That monthly ritual brought her friendships to a whole new level. You could try a film night, start a book club or a walking group or even invite a few friends to join you at a local gym and support each other in working out together.
5. Visualize the Relationships You Want
I’m a big fan of visualizing—picture the kinds of relationships you want, and feel what it would be like to have them in your life. Take a few minutes each day to imagine the joy, laughter, and support these relationships would bring. Visualization is a simple yet powerful way to set your mind on what you want.
I worked with a client, Theo, who was feeling stuck in his dating life. He kept meeting people who weren’t looking for a real connection. We added a quick, daily visualization practice where he pictured himself in the kind of supportive, growth-focused relationship he truly wanted. It didn’t take long for him to meet someone who shared his values, and they connected deeply. It sounds simple, but focusing on what you want can make all the difference.
6. Friendships Matter: Invest in Your Social Health
We all need strong friendships. Friends don’t just bring joy—they actually boost your physical and mental health. Studies show that close friendships reduce stress, boost happiness, and even improve your immune system. People who lack meaningful connections often experience higher rates of anxiety and depression. So investing in friendships is an investment in your own well-being.
A client of mine, Rebecca, realized that her long-term friendships had helped her stay resilient through job changes and family struggles. She shared that even in the toughest times, her friendships helped her stay grounded. Think of friendships as part of your self-care routine, like eating healthy or exercising. They’re absolutely essential to a long, happy life.
For more insights on the power of social connections, check out The Blue Zones by Dan Buettner, which explores how strong relationships contribute to health and happiness in the world’s longest-living communities.
7. Take Small Steps to Meet New People
If you’re looking to expand your social circle, start by joining a group or activity that interests you. Whether it’s a book club, a hiking group, or even a local sports team, doing something you love in a group setting is an easy way to connect with new people.
One client, Linda, wanted to meet new people but felt intimidated by big social events. So, she joined a local hiking group, where she met people who shared her love of the outdoors. She ended up forming a deep friendship with another woman in the group, and it added so much joy to her life. Sometimes, a small step leads to a deep connection.
Manifesting the Love You Deserve in 2025
This year, let’s focus on attracting and deepening the relationships that mean the most to us. Whether you’re looking for new friendships, a romantic connection, or simply a stronger network of support, you have the power to bring those connections into your life. By getting clear on what you want, giving openly, setting boundaries, visualizing your goals, and making time for meaningful relationships, you can attract the love and friendship you truly deserve.
If you’re ready to go deeper into attracting meaningful connections, check out my book, Coach Yourself to Success. Or, join the Raise Your Emotional IQ Course. And don’t forget to take the Emotional Index Quiz to get even more clarity on what you need from your relationships.
