Struggling to find love? Wondering why you keep attracting the same wrong people? The problem may not be out there. It might be something deep within that’s keeping you from attracting the right relationship.
You know those moments when you find yourself saying, “Why do I keep ending up with the same type of person?”— and not in a good way?
I’ve been there. Many of my clients have been there. At some point, you start to wonder if the universe is playing a joke on you. But let me tell you a little secret. It’s not the universe. It’s you. More precisely, it’s your subconscious beliefs and unmet emotional needs that are quietly sabotaging your love life.
It’s Not Just About Chemistry
We’re taught to believe that love is all about chemistry and timing. But here’s the thing: if you’re not in the right emotional place, you could be sitting across the table from your soulmate and still not feel the connection. Why? Because you’re not emotionally available—not really.
What does it mean to be emotionally available? It means having a strong sense of self-worth, understanding your own emotional needs, and setting clear boundaries. When those pieces are missing, we tend to chase people who aren’t right for us, or worse, push away the ones who are.
Emotional Needs Drive Everything
I can’t emphasize this enough. Our personal and emotional needs shape our behavior more than we realize. One of the fastest ways to start attracting the right relationship is to first identify your top emotional needs. Do you crave appreciation? Security? Attention? Respect? When these needs aren’t being met in healthy ways, we end up choosing partners who push our buttons—or worse, we try to get these needs met through control, manipulation, or people-pleasing. None of that leads to the kind of loving, joyful relationship you want.
I highly recommend taking the Raise Your Emotional IQ Course—it’s a game-changer. This course helps you identify your unique emotional blueprint and teaches you how to meet your needs in healthy, empowering ways. You’ll stop feeling needy and start feeling whole. And whole people attract whole relationships.
Self-Sabotage and Deserve Levels
Another major obstacle to attracting the right relationship is a low “deserve level.” This is the internal thermostat that determines what we think we’re worthy of. If deep down you don’t believe you deserve love, support, or kindness, you’ll find a way to sabotage every relationship that offers those things.
This is why so many people unknowingly push away healthy partners—they don’t feel worthy. But here’s the good news: you can raise your deserve level. You can heal those old beliefs and start creating new patterns. I’ve seen it happen again and again.
The Attracting Energy Shift
Instead of focusing on trying to find love, focus on becoming the kind of person who naturally attracts love. This might mean:
- Saying no to relationships that feel draining.
- Spending more time with people who lift you up.
- Creating strong, loving boundaries.
- Doing things that make you feel truly alive.
When you start living as if your emotional needs matter—and they do—you begin to radiate a different kind of energy. A magnetic energy. That’s when attracting the right relationship becomes not just possible, but inevitable.
The Inner Work Is the Shortcut
You might think doing all this inner work will take forever, but actually, it’s the fastest way to attract the love you want. Skipping it only means repeating the same patterns with different people. You don’t need another three-year relationship to learn the same painful lesson. One honest look inside can save you years of heartache.
Stop repeating the same patterns. Start attracting the right relationship today by understanding your emotional needs and raising your deserve level.
Want support and a clear path forward? Take the Raise Your Emotional IQ Course and begin the journey of real transformation.
