Do you ever feel like no matter how hard you try, what you want just doesn’t come to you? Maybe it’s love, or money, or the perfect job. You’ve read about the Law of Attraction. You’ve made your vision board. And you’ve spent countless hours visualizing. And yet… nothing. Or maybe worse—you get a taste of it, and then somehow you lose it. Deep down, you start to wonder: Am I just not good enough?
Sound familiar? Here’s the real reason why.
It’s not because you didn’t want it badly enough. It’s not because you weren’t specific enough. And it’s not because the universe didn’t hear you.
In reality, it’s because somewhere inside, you believe that you are not good enough to have it.
The Missing Link in the Law of Attraction: Deserve Level
One of the most dangerous and invisible barriers to manifesting what you want is low self-worth. Your “deserve level”—as I call it—is like a thermostat. You can only attract and keep what matches the level of worth you believe you have.
You may want a loving, committed relationship. But if you don’t believe you’re worthy of being loved just as you are, you’ll either sabotage the relationship or attract someone who doesn’t treat you well.
You may dream of financial freedom. But if you don’t believe you deserve abundance, you’ll unconsciously spend more than you earn, undercharge for your services, or stay in a job that underpays you.
It’s not your fault. Most of us were never taught how to feel worthy. We were told to be modest, not to expect too much, and to work hard and “earn” what we get. But self-worth doesn’t come from earning. It comes from knowing that you are already enough—exactly as you are.
You Attract What You Believe You Deserve
This principle changed my life—and it changed my clients’ lives. One client of mine, a brilliant designer, came to me saying she couldn’t seem to get clients to pay her what she was worth. She kept discounting her rates, offering freebies, and—surprise!—attracting people who didn’t value her work.
When we looked deeper, we uncovered a belief from childhood: “I have to be perfect to be loved.” She believed she was not good enough to deserve success unless everything she did was flawless. No wonder she felt exhausted and underpaid.
We worked on raising her deserve level—by shifting the internal dialogue, cleaning up emotional clutter, and practicing small acts of self-respect. Within three months, she doubled her income. She also started dating someone who adored her, flaws and all.
What If You Don’t Feel Worthy Yet?
Here’s the truth: no one is born feeling “not good enough.” That’s something we learn. Through criticism, rejection, perfectionism, comparison—these all chip away at our natural sense of self-worth. So it stands to reason that we can unlearn it, too.
If you don’t yet feel deeply worthy at your core, don’t worry. You can build that sense of worthiness—just like a muscle.
Daily Worthiness Checklist
Use this checklist each day to build your inner sense of self-worth. Small actions lead to a big transformation.
Notice my inner critic—and respond with love.
Do one kind thing just for myself (rest, joy, movement, beauty).
Speak to myself as I would a dear friend.
Remind myself that I don’t have to earn love or success—I am enough.
Complete one task or action from a place of self-respect.
Let go of something that no longer serves me (a thought, object, or obligation).
Honor my boundaries.
Do something that satisfies one of my top four personal and emotional needs.
You don’t have to wait to “feel better” about yourself to start doing things differently. In fact, it’s often acting as if that creates the shift.
- Speak up instead of staying silent.
- Take a break before burnout.
- Say yes to joy, no to guilt.
- Practice kindness—to yourself.
Every time you make a self-honoring choice, you reinforce your worth. And the world notices. People treat you with more respect. Opportunities appear. You attract what matches your new energy. This isn’t magic. It’s alignment.
Want to Go Deeper?
*Take the Online Coach Yourself to Success Course to uncover and shift the limiting beliefs that are holding you back.
*Read The Secret Laws of Attraction for insights into effortlessly attaining your heart’s desire.
*Discover your top emotional needs with the Emotional Index Quiz, a free tool to help you build better relationships and self-understanding.
