Always anticipate the best outcome for yourself and others. –Leon Nacson
A client was dreading an upcoming vacation with her husband because they always end up fighting. She likes to laze around on the beach and go shopping and he likes to do sporting activities and this difference creates a conflict. She was visually imagining just how wrong things were going to go. I suggested that she cancel that thought and instead focus on having a wonderful time together. I also suggested that they agree in advance that they wouldn’t expect each other to do the same things and would give each other complete freedom to do exactly as they pleased. She came back and thanked me as they had one of the best vacations ever.
If you ever catch yourself imaging the worst, the plane crashing, your kids drowning, cancel that thought by saying silently, “Cancel. Cancel.” Then replace that negative thought or image with an image of what you do want to have happen. What we focus on expands so it makes sense to focus on something good!
I was traveling with a friend and she had booked a hotel near the Eiffel Tower in Paris. When we arrived they showed us to our room, a tiny cramped room with a tiny shower. We could barely navigate around the one double bed! I was prepared to accept this room thinking it was the best we could do, but not my friend. She said, quite simply and calmly, “This won’t do. What other rooms do you have?” They then showed us to a beautiful room with two separate beds and an enourmous bathroom with a marble bathtub. I immediately thought it would be tremendously expensive. It was only $10 more per night! We happily unpacked and had a wonderful time. If you expect the best and don’t get it, ask and see what upgrades are available. (I later learned that the French typically give you their worst room first and expect that you’ll reject it and ask for a better room. Who knew?!) The point is to get into the habit of asking for the best.
Homework:
This week get into the practice of saying, “Can you do any better?” Often shop and sales people can give discounts or upgrades if asked. If you catch yourself having any negative thoughts, immediately say, “Cancel. Cancel.” Then think of and visually imagine the positive outcome you would like to have happen instead.
10 Minute Option:
Same as above.
