Research very clearly demonstrates measurable increases in one’s overall sense of happiness with the regular, weekly practice of gratitude. It is important to understand why and how gratitude has such a tremendous impact on happiness. Sonja Lyubomirsky explains in her interesting and very thorough book, The How of Happiness, the eight ways gratitude boosts happiness:
1. Grateful thinking promotes the savouring of life’s experiences. By relishing and taking pleasure in the small gifts of life, “…you will be able to extract the maximum possible satisfaction and enjoyment from your current circumstances.”
2. Expressing gratitude increases your sense of self-worth and self-esteem. “When you realize how much people have done for you or how much you have accomplished, you feel more confident and efficacious.”
3. Gratitude helps people cope with stress and trauma. “Expressing gratefulness during personal adversity like loss or chronic illness can help you adjust, move on, and perhaps begin anew…the sixty-seven-year-old Inger, who had been given a short time to live, described her illness this way: ‘When you can hear the minutes ticking and you know the buzzer is going to go off any minute and your time will be up, you see things so clearly. You just know without a doubt where your values are and why you are alive, and you’re so grateful for each moment.'”
4. The expression of gratitude encourages good behavior. Grateful people are more likely to help others and are less materialistic, appreciating what they have instead of focusing on acquiring more.
5. Keeping a gratitude journal makes us feel more connected with others and strengthens social relationships, even if we don’t tell them what we are grateful for.
6. Being grateful reduces envy. “If you are genuinely thankful and appreciative for what you have … you are less likely to envy what the Joneses have.”
7. The practice of gratitude is incompatible with negative emotions such as anger, bitterness and greed. It is impossible to feel guilty, furious or resentful if you are filled with gratitude. These emotions simply can’t occupy the same space at the same time!
8. Gratitude helps “thwart hedonistic adaptation, the remarkable ability to rapidly adapt to new improved circumstances so that the happiness is short-lived.” For example, you buy a new car and are thrilled with it, but then you get used to having it and after a year or two may start looking for another new car. You find a new friend, which initially boosts happiness, but soon get used to having that friend around. As Lyubomirsky points out, “By preventing people from taking the good things in their lives for granted — from adapting to their positive life circumstances – the practice of gratitude can directly counteract the effects of hedonic adaptation.”
This should be enough to convince you to start practicing an attitude of gratitude, regardless of how new-agey or corny it may sound! The evidence is in; gratitude makes us much nicer to be around and will not only strengthen your existing relationships, but also help you attract new, positive relationships. Hard not to be attractive when you are overflowing with feelings of gratefulness.
Homework:
Start keeping a gratitude journal. Once every week, take a moment to rethink the prior week and write at least five things that happened that you are grateful or thankful for. It can be little things like the fact that the sun is shining brightly and the flowers are in bloom, to big events such as a baby’s first step. Sunday is an excellent choice of days, but you can choose any day that works best for you. This is best done as a weekly exercise, not daily, to receive the greatest benefits. (Apparently, the same exercise done three times a week or daily may feel more like a chore than a delight which is counter-productive.)
5 Things I am Grateful for this Week:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Ten Minute Option:
Spend ten minutes thinking about what you are grateful for in your life, from the mundane to the magnificent. If you wish to write a few things down in your online journal, go ahead.
Enjoy!
Talane
