Talane’s Blog of the Week, June 4, 2007

Attraction Principle #2
The Corollary to Like Attracts Like is: The More You Need It, The Less Likely You Are To Attract It.

In other words, people can sniff out neediness a mile away. The more you need something, the less likely you are to attract it. Neediness is a great repellent. I’ll use a letter from one reader to illustrate the point.

Subject: Sorry, Like Attracts Like is not true for everyone!

Talane,

Thank you for this interesting story. I could not find a job, even though I have the best possible education I could get, with my personal best results. Even sending over 300 applications, going to different fairs and talking to various workers and jobseekers, as well as to those looking for applicants did not help. Most of the interviews (lasting over one hour) were positive, but they then would return my application saying they could not offer me the job, or that they decided to choose another applicant. So after about three years of job seeking, I do not really think that Like Attracts Like!

Dear Job Seeker,

I'm sorry to hear you've had such a hard time finding work. Unfortunately, your story just proves the point – the lack of a job was attracting more of the same – no job. This is why it is always harder to find a job when you are unemployed than it is to get a job while still employed. We always are more attracted to the person who doesn't need it. The more one needs a job, the less likely one is to attract it. Not fair and certainly no indication of your worth or effectiveness as an employee or as a human being, but a perfect demonstration of the principle.

The way out isn’t always easy. I’ve coached incredibly well-educated, very smart, professional women who were making six figures and suddenly couldn’t find a job. There is a book out there addressing just this problem, “Off Ramp, On Ramp” that might be helpful. And, I always figure you have to look at the message the universe is sending. Perhaps it is time to try something completely different.

When I was working at Chase Bank and unhappy, I met with headhunters and recruiters, looking for a different job. However, since my entire work experience was in banking, they sent me to more financial institutions, with no success. I finally realized that if I went for more of the same, I’d probably be just as miserable. That is when I hired a coach and started looking for my ideal career (which had nothing to do with banking). To my amazement I ended up getting coach training and becoming a coach. It turned out I was meant to be a coach (it is one of my strongest natural strengths and I didn’t even know it) and a speaker. Coaching and speaking match my natural abilities -- management is actually one of my weaknesses. I didn’t actually know this until I took The Highlands Ability Battery, an excellent assessment for discovering what you’re naturally good at.

So if the universe trying to tell you “no cheese down this tunnel,” it might be time to try something radically different.

Warmest regards,
Talane

P.S. Take the Emotional Index quiz under the Free Stuff button at www.lifecoach.com and find out your top four needs.

P.P.S. For info on the Highlands Ability Battery, contact faye@lifecoach.com