First, I gained some real value from the program — mostly it was in helping me become unstuck in a few key areas. Like you said, it seemed almost like magic. I didn't push anything or struggle, rather I just eased up and changed my viewpoint and then things shifted. For example, for a long time I've been bothered by all the clutter my very sweet and dear husband leaves around the house. I just accepted it as my lot in life to constantly need to move this stuff around as I need an orderly environment (my #1 emotional need as it turns out) and he doesn't. But over the past nine weeks I realized that I was being proprietary about our space. Most all the space in the house is taken up with my stuff. We had very few places where his stuff could live, and no permanent home equalled constant clutter.

This summer we eliminated a guest room and turned it into an office for my husband. He treated himself to a new computer with huge monitor and killer sound system, and even though it is not yet furnished, he is enjoying spending time there and viola, we have a place for a lot of his stuff. It wasn't hard to do this and we are both much happier on this issue as a result. Also now in general I am more open to moving things around or even stowing my stuff in the basement if he feels he needs more space. I just don't feel as attached to it as I always have.

There's a saying that it is pure folly to try to change another person, the only person you can change is yourself, and I discovered through the class that as I just quietly changed myself it caused people around me to follow my example, which was really neat too. And you're right, men respond really well to declarative sentences vs. questions. I am doing that now with great results.

Participant from Dublin, OH

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