Goal-Setting vs. Attraction: Which Works Better?
Last night I gave a talk to a lovely group of executive coaches in Bristol about attracting what you want effortlessly. They were particularly keen to attract more executive coaching clients.
There are (at least) two ways to get what you want:
- Set a goal and go for it; and
- Attract it to you effortlessly.
Most of us have been trained to use goal-setting as the primary way to get results. However, in my 20 plus years of coaching experience I’ve seen that the very best stuff in life has all been attracted. In fact, if I find myself working too hard to get something, I am now suspicious— have I set the wrong goal? (It used to be the reverse, if it came too easily I was distrustful—this is just so easy it can’t be right, or so I thought at the time).
I’ll share an example from one of my clients. She hired me because she was working really hard in real-estate and making no headway and having no real success. This is mostly because real-estate has tanked in the U.S. and a number of other places so not the ideal time to be in the business, but also because she wasn’t happy doing it even when she was making good money. She took career tests in the Career Change Coaching Kit™, which helped us clearly see where her natural talents and abilities lay and then I encouraged her to quit her job and take the summer off to play. She agreed to do this, after some initial guilt and reluctance. At the end of the summer I called to see what was happening and sure enough, she couldn’t believe what happened. Out of the blue, a former professor had called and asked her if she’d be interested in working on a really exciting project overseas that had been funded by a special grant. Truly a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity had landed at her feet.
And yet, it came so easily she wasn’t sure. Yes, she admitted it sounded ideal, but she thought she should also pursue teaching at the local high schools as well. I asked her “Why?” After all, she could always come back after this year abroad and teach as the schools would still be there. She realized that was true and is now seizing the chance to do some really interesting and challenging work. (Not that teaching isn’t interesting and challenging, but that this was truly a unique opportunity).
What wonderful people and opportunities have you effortlessly attracted in your life? If you look, you may be surprised to discover that the best stuff usually comes to you. The stuff we track down and hunt may not even be all that important to you now.
One of my specialties in coaching is to help people be more powerful and attractive so that they reach their goals and get what they want simply by having a notion or an intention—our thoughts are more powerful than most realize (to read related article click here). After coaching people from different cultures and countries around the world, I can tell you that it works! And it works so well you may very well give up on goal-setting altogether, but why not do both? Set great goals and then attract them effortlessly.